Your Attitude is Welcome

Today was a little better. The anger-with-everyone trend is still existent, but they're is an underlying peace that exists now. So I'm taking it as a good sign that my prayers are being answered and this transformation will start from the inside.

I've been trying to be sweet and love the people that let me. Sometimes it doesn't seem to work out as well as I'd like for it to, but I can't have it all. I have really amazing brothers and sisters. All of which who are not related to me by blood. God has been blessing me with amazing friends since before I developed a true relationship with him. Even though they are not walking with him I know that he's placed them in my life and me and theirs. The love I have for my close friends I consider like Brothers (Kevin, Klein, Tito, Britt) and Sisters (Kayla, Gio,Taryn) runs pretty deep. Even in my frustration with them at times, I know that I would have my door open to them if they needed my help.

And then there is my new found family in Christ; and that is just overwhelming and wonderful too. They are the ones who convince me and encourage me to love and be sweet to people even when they hurt me and relate to me with my struggles... I guess this is just my acknowledgment to all the people I love and letting people know that I love them.

Life has been really nice lately. It has been for a while, but my frustrations tend to cloud the reality that things are going very sweetly. My boy update simply includes me courting a few guys who don't even (and will probably never) know they're being courted. And at this point it's all just for me to exercise my restraint and learn it's okay to be attracted to someone and not feel the need to pursue them. This is my own list just by initials or title lol

J.B. - Sweet guy; a really kind open demeanor; is a little intense in his community service... like it makes him... kinda weird; has a girlfriend and wasn't very anxious to share lol; Status - Done courting So apparently he broke up with his girl friend just a few days after we talked about him. "Quiet courting" on my end is still inactive, but he did play the guitar for me today (10/2) at lunch :)

German Boy - So this is silly. It's this kid who I am familiar with in my German class, but I've never held a conversation with him ever. But whenever I have left German class this week he's... kinda walked with me. It's so dumb. lol. But I'll walk next or ahead of him a few paces. And he'll walk in front of me a few paces. It's cute. Though he probably either has a girlfriend or he's not interested in me at all and it's all in my head. Either way it's something to be playful about while I walk to microeconomics. Called it! He has a girlfriend. She is very pretty too. :)

EFM - If I could marry this guy I would. He's handsome, sweet, wonderful and a great friend. And I want to be sweet and friendly towards him even if it hurts... And it hurts so much. And I know I'll never have a chance.

That's all really. And I'm alright with that.

"You are Welcome."