Lani got back last night and we went to a coffee shop today. I was trying not to eye the cute guy at the coffee shop, because that's what I do haha. But I remember drinking my cappuccino and thinking more and more how much I don't really care to be in a relationship with someone.... It was pretty cool. It was a peaceful calming thought...
I almost managed to grab a hold of it and then somehow I slipped back into the wanting to be married thing and I felt temporarily defeated! How close I was to being completely okay with being single!!! Gah! I think it stemmed from me seeing the pictures in the coffee shop; images of a missions trip perhaps in India where young people were spending time with the kids and it was pretty amazing. I thought about Grad school... and potentially joining the peace corp as a part of my degree. I was telling someone about how I could easily end up in Africa with my future Planning experience, but I genuinely found myself being worried about things like not having the conditioner I need for my hair and warm water and such things that aren't important really, just things that I'm used to having available to me... But lately I've eased up on the idea that I could still end up there... or anywhere else for that matter. The whole thing in my mind turned into me just needing to be available to go where I need to go... and guys just weren't a part of that plan- and for once in my mind that was alright.
I'm almost there. I would really like to get there it would be really liberating I think... Well back to work.
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